"I am an aggressive mom and I am trying to deal with it". How often do you hear that?
Most mothers won’t probably admit to being mean to their child, even if they constantly yell, humiliate and even slap them. Instead of hiding the problem, it’s better to face and fight it.
Aggressive parents make their kids heartbroken. From an early age, mom and dad are the center of their universe, meaning that seeing them as attackers ruin the whole concept of safety.
Verbal offense cuts harder than a knife.
There are various reasons which lead to aggressive behavior in a person who didn’t show any signs of it before having kids.
- Chronic fatigue;
- Lack of intimacy with a partner;
- Financial struggles;
- Feeling insecure;
- Obsessive desire to control and multitask;
However, even knowing the reasons does not guarantee that you can prevent such behavior. We all have some triggers, but while some people know how to control their reactions, others plunge deep in the emotions, stirring the aggression. How to deal with it?
Sandra P. Thomas, Ph.D., a professor at the University of Tennessee, Knoxville, recommends a simple trick. Imagine your kid is just a baby lying in the crib and smiling. In the moment of the meltdown, keep that vision in your head.
Psychologist Laura J. Petracek says that, if you feel at the peak of emotions, take a break and keep your distance from the child. You can literary go to another room and focus on something else, for instance, a view from the window.
Force yourself to stay mute until you think over what you have to say.
Follow this simple technique: Take deep breaths and do simple exercises whenever you feel aggressive. That may look bizarre, but it works.
Create a scenario in your head. Identify your triggers and make a thorough plan of what to do or to say next time.
Pay attention to your life quality. Practice mindfulness, relaxation, meditation - these can teach you to concentrate on positive emotions and listen to your body.
Aggressive parenting does irreparable damage to a child’s psychic. It also ruins the trust and connection between parents and kids, which echoes in relationships issues of the later.
Aggression is manageable. Even though the fight is tough, the outcome is worth it.
Family is the biggest treasure of all! That is why it is so important to appreciate each other. Here is one more powerful story to prove that.
The material in this article is for informational purposes only and does not replace the advice of a certified specialist.