The loss of a baby before the 20th week is called miscarriage and it happens when an embryo or fetus dies. On average, 10-20% of pregnancies end in miscarriage in the first trimester. Although miscarriages are fairly common, they can be emotionally difficult and heartbreaking.
This kind of pregnancy loss often happens even before a woman knows she is expecting. Researchers insist that neither normal activities like sex, physical exercises, work or minor injuries can provoke a miscarriage. The most common reasons for a pregnancy loss are serious infections, severe forms of diabetes or an abnormal number of genes in the fertilized egg. Women who've experienced miscarriage often feel profound grief and devastation.
Thus, it's essential to give them our support and extra care at this rough time of their lives. Some people, however, can't hide their emotions and blame those who've dealt with miscarriage.
One young woman has recently shared her shock and disappointment on Reddit. The unnamed 24-year old revealed that she was allowed to spend less time at work during her ill-suffered pregnancy. Her 50-year-old colleague, however, pestered the woman with questions about the reasons for her absence. As a candid conversation with her older colleague degenerated into an inculpatory rant, the 24-year-old woman had to go and "sob in the bathroom."
To her big surprise, the 50-year-old woman accused her of being selfish and not taking good care of her child:
"I told you you were pregnant! Why the hell are you here? You need to be home! This is why you had the miscarriage! You don't care about yourself, you're being selfish when you should be letting your body recover.
What is wrong with you? You are being so stupid! You don't take care of yourself and then you wonder why you had a miscarriage. Come on, really. Who do you think you're telling this to? I'm a woman! I have gone through things like this! Don't look surprised if you find you can't get pregnant after this."
The 24-year-old girl was left hurt and devasted after this response. She eventually went to Reddit to share the story in an effort to garner some support and compassion. It's not a surprise that Internet users were totally disgusted by the older woman's behavior.
The situation is, in fact, a good instance of what NOT to do when someone you know goes through miscarriage. If you really want to help, listen to them carefully and let them know they aren't alone. Don't be judgemental or strict, because you never know what the person feels.