REAL LIFE

6 Common Parenting Mistakes That People Make These Days

Date August 31, 2018 17:35

There is no perfect parenting guidebook out there so we won't get it right every time. But understanding some perspective of what is considered wrong parenting can give you something to reflect on and inspire you to do better. 

1. Seeking your child's approval

Sure, you want your kids to love you but, more than that, you should want to raise them to be good and kind people. This means there will be times you will do things they may disapprove of, and that's okay. Kari Kampakis, blogger and author of 10 Ultimate Truths Girls Should Know, explained that when we constantly seek our kids' approval, we end up making choices out of desperation, which is no way to show love. That's neediness on our end, and it won't serve our children well.

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READ ALSO: 5 Parenting Habits That May Affect A Child's Future Success

2. Not taking the time to know your child

Clinical psychologist Barbara Greenberg said that another mistake most parents make is that they believe they know their children. They project their own ideas and impressions on them, forgetting that to truly know your child, you have to spend time with them. It takes years of learning and listening to get an accurate idea of what they are really like. 

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3. Raising children as 'perfect'

Sure, you should have positive and kind words for your kids, but they aren't perfect and it's not a good idea to raise them as if they were. According to Kampakis, some parents just cannot handle hearing anything negative about their kids. Sadly, this means they do not intervene promptly when concerns are raised, making things worse over time.

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4. Inability to accept their difference

Kampakis calls it raising the children we want instead of the ones we have. We forget that our children have their own personality, drive, and spirit. We may project our own ideas and impressions on them. We should notice their unique abilities and help them be who they are meant to be, instead of who we want them to be. 

READ ALSO: Signs Of Toxic Parenting You Should Not Ignore - And What To Do To Ensure You're Practicing Healthy Parenting

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5. Labeling your kids

Greenberg also pointed out the danger of labeling children. Calling one of your kids 'the shy one' and another 'the smart one' may sound endearing. But what it ends up doing is limiting them and sort of putting them in a box. They end up thinking they are only good at that one thing. Instead, teach them they have varying degrees of qualities.

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6, Making them the center of your universe

Remember: You don't raise kids by sacrificing your own life for them. Greenberg explained that parents shouldn't make the adult life seem so miserable. Have fun and consider your own needs. Your kids will learn as much from how you treat yourself as they do from how you treat them. 

The ultimate goal is to raise confident, kind and smart children. And the way to do that is to invest time in them and also make sure we are great role models as well.

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