"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky

"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton

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November 14, 2018 19:39 By Mambee

Monica Lewinsky is revealing more details about her affair with former United States president Bill Clinton in a new documentary,

"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clintongettyimages

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According to FOX, the 45-year-old will share her experience in an in-depth docu-series entitled "The Clinton Affair". She said in the documentary:

The truth is that I think it meant more to me that someone who other people desired had desired me. 

"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clintongettyimages

She went on to say that the affair, which began when she was 22, was an emotional rollercoaster.

I was struck in a way that he had this ability to hold everybody that was there.

"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clintongettyimages

Their flirtatious encounters began in August 1995. By November, things had escalated. There was a small staff birthday party at which Clinton was present. 

"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clintongettyimages

Clinton asked her if she wanted to go to the back office. 

It was dark and he eventually asked me if he could kiss me and I said yes. After a little time, I went back to my desk. And at some point later in the evening, I was the only person in the office. And he came back in and he said, ‘If you want to meet me in the back study in 10 minutes you can.’ So I did. And it became more intimate from there.

"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clintongettyimages

The affair continued until April 1996, when she was transferred to the Pentagon. She said that she desperately missed Clinton and that sadness was what led her to confide in Linda Tripp, a US civil servant ​​​​​​."I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clintongettyimages

By July, she intimated that she was going to quit the job at the Pentagon and tell her parents about the affair. 

"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clintongettyimages

In January 1998, Tripp contacted the Office of the Independent Counsel and threatened to expose the ongoing relationship between Clinton and Lewinsky.

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A meeting was set up to which Lewinsky was invited. She claimed in the documentary, however, that when she arrived she was ambushed by the FBI and taken to a hotel room where she was held until late at night.

"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clintongettyimages

She said:

I felt so much guilt. And I was terrified. There was a point for me… where I would be hysterically crying and then I would just shut down. 

Lewinsky also recently wrote another feature for Vanity Fair in which she revealed her reasons for speaking out.

Filming the documentary forced me to acknowledge to myself past behavior that I still regret and feel ashamed of.

"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clinton"I Felt So Much Guilt And I Was Terrified": Monica Lewinsky Shares New Details About Her Affair With Bill Clintongettyimages

She also stated that she deeply regrets her actions and, if given the chance, she would apologize to Hillary Clinton again for the pain she caused the former FLOTUS.

If I were to see Hillary Clinton in person today, I know that I would summon up whatever force I needed to again acknowledge to her—sincerely—how very sorry I am.

The docu-series premieres on Sunday, November 18 on A&E.

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