Relationship Experts Share Some Of The Bedtime Routines Happy Couples Have In Common
July 20, 2018 14:46 By Mambee
A successful relationship does not happen by chance. It requires two people who are willing to work at it and do all they can to keep that connection strong.
Four relationship experts spoke with HuffingtonPost and revealed some of the things happy couples do before bed and we can all stand to learn from them.
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The 'I Love You's'
According to psychologist Ryan Howes, this should be an important part of your nighttime routine with your partner. No matter how the day went, good or bad, or if there were those little annoying things your partner did, or maybe you are even dealing with some stress of your own, endeavour to let your partner know they are loved. Hearing that validation at the end of the day can be really uplifting for the both of you.
Relationship therapist and counsellor for men Kurt Smith stressed the benefits of going to bed at the same time as your partner. You probably spent the whole day apart, each person doing their own thing, so those few minutes of preparing for bed and getting under the covers together should be treasured. Sure, this might not be possible every single night but try to do this as frequently as possible.
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Kari Carroll, a couples therapist, advises couples to unplug from their gadgets while in bed. We live in a world where everyone seems to be addicted to their phones and social media. When done in bed, or during times that are supposed to be meaningful in your relationship, it can affect the level of intimacy between you and your partner. "Couples who become aware of this intrusiveness sometimes create general rules such as ‘no phones past 9 p.m.’ or ‘no phones in the bed'," Caroll said.
Another advice Howes has for couples is the importance of practising gratitude. Did your partner do something nice for you during the day? Or is there something that happened that you are simply grateful for? Ending each day on a bright note of appreciation and thankfulness can lift both you and your partner's mood.
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Talk To Each Other
No, don't talk about the heavy stuff or big relationship problems because you are probably too tired to handle those the right way. Carroll suggests taking a few minutes before bed to talk about your experiences during the day or any other thing you like to talk about for the sole purpose of having a listening ear. This is not about solving each other's problems or getting into an argument. It's all about listening to one another and showing support.
No Kids Rule
Therapist and author Michele Weiner-Davis wants couples to understand the importance of keeping kids out of their bedroom. As parents, you probably spent the whole day or a part of it tending to your children. The nighttime should be just for you and your partner. Your bedroom should be your safe and intimate space, where you can connect and get close to each other. Sure, there will be those times when your kids need a little extra attention, like after a nightmare, but try as best as you can to encourage them to return to their rooms.
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At the end of the day, being in a relationship is all about making time for each other. You do not have to wait until you have a whole weekend alone for you to reconnect. Taking for five minutes each day, or just using that time to feel close to one another, can do wonders for your relationship.